Teacher Vs Student

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.
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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
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Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Indians Live Happily in Hell Too.......

A guy dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.



He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting
to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil was a software engineer, so he swipes the card, comes in, checks his mails and then goes to the cafeteria..."

Smart Boy

Math's Teacher: If you have

12 Chocolates and you

Give 5 to Lela,
3 to Anita and
4 to Julia

Then what will u get????

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Student: 3 New

Girlfriends

Mam!!!

Poor Boys

When a Girl Cries ------------ The World "Consoles" her

But when a boy cries ---------- Come on man don't be A "Girl"

If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"

If Boy Slaps a girl -------------- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"

If a Girl is talking to Boys ----- She is "Very Friendly"

If a Boy talks to a Girl ---------- He is "flirting"

If a Girl meets with accident -------------------- Then its "mistake of others"

If a Boy meets with same accident ------------ Bloody you "don't know how to Drive"

LWat A World Is thisL